Sharing Gifts

I have always felt that each person is given a special gift. For some it is the loyalty they display in each friendship they acquire, for others it can be a great smile, the ability to make people laugh,being able to do a math problem without taking the class, being a great athlete, knowing when someone needs comfort, or one of those people that just...helps. I have always labeled myself as "the entertainer". I provide entertainment in many forms to those around me. Sometimes it is with chatter in an otherwise silent room, sometimes its making people laugh, other times it is to be a listener, sometimes it's making those comments that everyone is thinking but no one will say...(oops)  and then there's that gift of music.

I've been having this feeling for several years that I need to be sharing it. Not wanting, but needing. Not in the form of on stage with a mic, although I have done that, but just sharing.  I no longer really want to be up in front performing. I much prefer singing with friends just because we want to. The other evening I got a chance to do just that. A couple friends and I got together for a wonderful lady who is a hospice patient. We sang songs she picked out, songs others picked out and just enjoyed the night. 2 1/2 hours later....I walked out exhausted, but joyous.

 I had looked around to see the banjo player with the talented fingers pickin' out a tune, the guitar player who knows every song out there and plays with ease. Their wives, and children joining in. The wonderful lady on her last moments in this world holding a downs baby who fell asleep to the music in her arms. I looked at my very good friends who are guitar and piano players and wonderful singers and thought...wow...this is what I hope the next chapter of my life brings.

I was right in that I need to share my own gift.

When my father passed away I would play the piano and pretty much just read the music and follow along. Shortly after he was gone I felt this urging to fill in between the notes. I start adding things here and there and soon these songs became... me.  At some point I had tears running down my face as I heard my father say "that's it. Keep going".  Now I know that when I sing it's a part of me, my father and the gifts he shared (violin, mandolin, guitar,mouth harp, harmonica and singer) that molded me into who I am. I did need to share. I DO, need to share, present tense. I need to share for me, to bring smiles to others, to appreciate those around me and start filling a spot in my heart that has been aching for quite some time.

God gives us talents that we need to expand I guess. In order for me to fill full, I need to give. And that's what I intend to to.

Book 2

Today my youngest daughter received her graduation announcements. I guess it's final now. She is going to graduate and I will be an empty nester with all four of my kids off on their own. Did time really go by that fast? It seems like not so long ago that I had one child racing on her horse long curls flowing, a son mastering the art of southpaw pitching, the next child falling in love with every animal she saw and then this last one, toddling along behind everyone, fearless.  They have all started their own adventure and now, I guess, it is time for me to start my own. I'll be creating my own little bucket list. A list of realistic things. No bungee jumping for this girl. Crazies. But I may save money to go to Hawaii, or get back into singing, join a Zumba class, take an art class, spend more time at the lake, work on the landscaping or get back into growing flowers for my friend D. My life is no longer on hold. Maybe that isn't the right phrase because I don't regret it. Not for a minute.  I think I will look at it as one of those books that says "book 2" right in the middle. Now.....where to start....